I’m having one of those days today when it feels as though the whole world relies on me. It seems as though every single decision, no matter how big or small, is completely down to me. Sometimes I can cope with that. But not today. Today I just want to scream and let someone else take the strain for a while.
I’ve actually agonised a bit about whether to write this down or not, as it’s a little more personal than I’d usually share. But then I thought about the whole reason I started Just Mummy Me. It’s a place for me to rant and rave and write about all the things that go into my life as a Mum. I’m writing this because I NEED to get it off my chest – simple!
Today it feels as though noone around me is able to make a decision about ANYTHING without my input. It’s driving me insane! What the hell would happen if I actually went out to work? Would the whole house actually make their own decisions and sort themselves out, or what they completely fall apart?!
Sometimes it’s nice to feel so important. But honestly, it gets too much! I don’t always want to be the one pulling the strings all the time. More than that, some of these things I have absolutely no clue about! For example, the car has started playing up again, it could be the cat or it could be some sensor or it could be a blockage. Now, bear in mind that MY HUSBAND IS A MECHANIC and you might start to understand how frustrated I’ve been that he seems completely unable to determine what to do. We’ve booked a week away in April and we’ll need the car to get us there. This problem has been going on since OCTOBER LAST YEAR! Now all I said was that getting the car fixed properly needs to be a priority now. This unleashed a whole host of reactions. Hands were held in the air, shoulders shrugged, deep breaths taken. What the fuck?! Fast forward to us getting home and he’s taking photos of the diagnostics and asking me my opinion. THESE NUMBERS MEAN NOTHING TO ME! How the hell do I know if 97.8% is good or not on that thing! He’s asked me whether he should order a cat, should he take it Vauxhall and see if their machine gives a better reading, should he try yet another new sensor? HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW???
I honestly feel as though I’ve reached the end of my tether tonight. I’ve snapped and now I’m the bad guy. So I’ve put my feet up and I’m sitting here typing furiously, leaving him to sort the children out. He can take the strain and make the decisions tonight. I love him really, but wow, sometimes I could SCREAM!